Reflecting on July: A Beach Day

July felt like a long month for me. It seems like a lot has happened, yet at the same time it seems like I've accomplished nothing in particular. The Oven Door broke and it got fixed. I went on a hike with a friend. My three year relationship has been called off. I drove two hours away to enjoy some shopping. And yesterday, July 30th, after work I went to the beach and took these photos.

I know it's not wrong to feel upset about how the month has gone. But sometimes I feel like I should do more. Last week, for example, I missed my first video upload and blog post 'deadline' in the 22/23 weeks I've been posting consistently. It really sucked to feel like I didn't have much control over things. I didn't think it was right to post the blog post without the video and the video couldn't be finished without the cookies being done. So I postponed it.

Not to mention my feelings around my relationship. I love the man deeply, so we're still friends, but I'm still upset about it. I cried for a full week, thank goodness I work from home still. Not to mention it meant that going shopping ended up as a bit of retail therapy, so it seems like my month has been used up by trying to self soothe.

Soothing mostly the anxiety of things I can't fully control, the oven breaking, my relationship ending, not being able to finish the video because of the oven, et cetera. But I kinda realized yesterday, when driving and thinking about the month, that there is so much I have control over. I can drive to the beach, take photos, go on a hike, and see or talk to a friend. I can even go shopping, although the retail therapy isn't the best. There is so much in my control that I can use to improve this next month. 

So for August, I am going to make the most of it. I am going to do my best to improve my outlook and with that I want to improve my blog, YouTube, and Instagram. No promises yet, but starting today I am going to try to work on the things I have control over and to forget my worries about the rest.